To the dismay of East Meck’s students, the famous rapper DaBaby canceled a highly anticipated/completely unknown performance which he was due to give in East Meck’s Silver Auditorium last Thursday.

When asked for comment, DaBaby cited “growing tensions in the Middle East” which he had to address, as well as criticizing East Meck’s “failure to adequately prepare for the event.” 

“Despite my desire to visit East Mecklenburg and perform for its students, the school was far too unclean. I was very disappointed with the efforts of East Meck’s students in advance of my concert, especially their failure to scrape enough gum off of the 300 hall walls.” 

Students expressed great disappointment upon hearing the news, many wailing and falling to the ground when our news team told them what had happened.

“I didn’t actually know DaBaby was going to come, but now that you’ve told me, I’m very upset,” said Leon Baker (11th). “The only way that I might feel any better would be if someone else visited our school. Maybe the 76th Governor of North Carolina, Josh Stein, will consider showing up as a consolation. That would be, like, the only way to make up for it.”