The Head Beagler of the beloved East Meck Beagle was fired today after taking sixty-two consecutive sick days. East Meck’s Grand Council of Journalism declared on Wednesday that they were “no longer satisfied” with the article production of the Head Beagler, despite the fact that he had reported contracting twenty-three distinct illnesses in his time off.

“I mean, at some point I began to doubt that a person could simply be that prone to sickness,” said one Beagle staff member, who agreed to be interviewed on the condition of anonymity. “I understood when he had the flu, and norovirus, and whooping cough, but I started to get suspicious when he developed eyeball-eating bacteria and gout at the same time.”

The Head Beagler has reportedly been replaced by a new interim Beagler-in-Chief. Although rumors abound as to the background of this ‘new’ editor, their true identity remains unknown. However, they have promised to substantially increase the output of the newspaper while maintaining its reputation for accurate and reliable journalism. Glorious days are ahead for East Meck’s Finest News Source.