On Friday, East Meck’s Doctor Principal Dean Space Chancellor Steve Drye announced that the next two weeks of East Meck’s schedule will be scrambled around in order to accommodate “more meaningless practice for meaningless assessments.” 

As the EOCs in May approach, Dean Drye has realized that East Meck’s strategy of actually attempting to teach the course material is suboptimal for preparing for state tests. In His infinite wisdom, Drye decreed that our time would be better spent taking practice tests ever so slightly longer than the length of a normal block, and upending the entire normal schedule for all students as a result.

The new schedule was reportedly developed by a combination of ChatGPT’s suggestions and wheelofnames.com, used in order to generate brilliant “reverse schedule” seen on several days over the next few weeks, where 4th block will occur for three hours at the beginning of the day. 

Asked for comment, SpCh. Drye defended his actions. “It just makes sense,” said Drye, after our reporters locked him in a room until he answered our questions. “I dedicate so much of my time to bursting into random homerooms to ensure nobody’s wasting time on their phones, instead of wasting time on Capturing Kids’ Hearts. If we skip homeroom altogether, this removes the only part of my job that I haven’t yet automated with ChatGPT.”