This Friday, October 24th, a plague of locusts unexpectedly desecended upon East Meck’s campus and wreaked havoc. 

Attacking buildings all across campus, students fled their classrooms under attack by the winged monstrosities. Students were successfully evacuated in under four hours after the first locust sighting, with only three serious injuries taking place (locust through ear, locust up rectum, locust inside nostril).

The school administration is reportedly taking drastic measures to curtail the abominable creatures, including declaring a state of emergency and appointing Ms. Bauer as the school’s Locust Czar. Reached for comment on the school’s new Contingency Locust Amelioration Plan, Principal Steven Drye said, “Shit! Locusts!”

The exact source of the insects remains uncertain, but Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools has launched an investigative committee to examine the causes of the event. In the meantime, The Beagle implores to you ask your student advisor candidates about their plans for the locust problem before voting.