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Category: News

Drye’s Birthday — ITEMS NOT ALLOWED

CMS Superintendent Crystal Hill saw her shadow on Monday morning and declared school’s cancellation for the next eight weeks.

Crystal Hill Sees Shadow, Proclaims 6 More Weeks of Winter Break

CMS Superintendent Crystal Hill saw her shadow on Monday morning and declared school’s cancellation for the next eight weeks.

Head Beagler Fired After Taking Sixty Consecutive Sick Days

The turkey pardoned by President Donald Trump allegedly had significant financial ties to his campaign, our journalists discovered.

Pardoned Turkey Allegedly Donated Millions to Trump Campaign

The turkey pardoned by President Donald Trump allegedly had significant financial ties to his campaign, our journalists discovered.

Steve Drye Announces “East Tech”

Principal Drye announced Monday the school would be undergoing a high-tech transformation.

Student Detained for Protesting Wrong

A student was detained this Tuesday after protesting incorrectly.

IBESS Student Learns Something

An IB Environmental Systems & Societies student reportedly learned something for the first time this Monday.

Student Dies of Old Age in 4000 Stairwell

A student tragically perished this week after waiting over 50 years to get down from the 4300.

Plague of Locusts Descends on School

After a week of disasterous events at East Meck, a cloud of locusts descended upon the school campus on Friday.

Drye Bans All Students From East Meck

East Meck Principal Steve Drye has banned all students from entering East Meck in an astonishing move.

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